Self-Care In Old Age

In the Diagnosis of the Times column of the Catholic Times, a sociology professor gives us her opinion on a serious issue in Korean Society.

In February 2024, the Constitutional Court ruled unconstitutional a provision in the Medical Service Act prohibiting the disclosure of a fetus's sex, thereby guaranteeing parents the right to know their unborn child's gender. The longstanding practice of prohibiting sex disclosure stemmed from a deep-rooted preference for sons. 

The tradition of relying on sons, particularly the eldest, for important family matters such as inheritance and ancestral rites naturally fostered a culture favoring male offspring. While daughters were viewed as ‘outsiders’ who became part of another family upon marriage, sons inherited property and assumed the role of caring for their parents in old age. In the Bible, the ‘birthright’ signifies a double portion of inheritance and spiritual authority.

However, it is now rare to find parents who keep having children until they have a son, or parents who rely solely on their children for their old age. According to the 2023 Survey on the Status of the Elderly, only 1 in 4 seniors aged 65 and older wished to live with their children. Even among those, they preferred “a child with suitable circumstances” (42.3%) or “a child they get along with” (24.9%) over the “eldest son” (19.0%). This indicates that the elderly themselves have let go of the expectation of relying on their eldest son or sons in their later years. In reality, over half of the elderly live only with their spouse, and one-third live alone. Furthermore, if the trend of the total fertility rate remains at just 0.7 to 0.8, the reality for future elderly generations will be even harsher.

Reflecting this situation, ‘self-care’ has recently emerged as a crucial topic. As life expectancy increases, the period of old age lengthens, and in an era where one must care for one's own later years rather than relying on children or family, self-care is essential. Self-care goes beyond simply looking after oneself; it signifies a lifestyle attitude that pursues health and well-being across all areas of life and actively manages illness when it occurs. In today's world, where nearly half of life is spent in old age, self-care is a personal capacity that neither children nor the state can substitute for.

Self-care can be broadly divided into four areas. First is ‘physical care,’ maintaining health through proper nutrition, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep. Second is ‘psychological and emotional care,’ which involves relieving inner tension and restoring emotional stability through sufficient rest and active leisure activities. Third is ‘relational care,’ which means building supportive relationships beyond family, within neighbors and communities, to avoid isolation and maintain social bonds.

Lastly, ‘spiritual self-care’ involves finding inner peace through prayer, meditation, self-reflection, and communion with nature, and practicing a life aligned with one's values and beliefs. It also includes rediscovering the purpose of life bestowed by God and cultivating a practical attitude of living in accordance with that conviction. Spiritual self-care is the most essential and crucial domain of care, not only for believers but for everyone.

In this era of centenarians, where over 2 million elderly live alone, we must prepare for a life of self-care and responsibility, no longer relying on children or others. The journey of self-care begins by acknowledging my own frailty and leaning on the mercy of God.