I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust
and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people,
It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slide it,
there are always two sides.
I’ve learned that you should always have loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you’ll see them.
I’ve learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can’t.
I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don’t know how to show it.
I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
ahead of their actions.
I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I’ve learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves go farther in life.
I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned that writing,
as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned to love
and be loved.
I’ve learned…
The recent issue of the Kyeongyang
magazine had an article by a professor of English Literature on the
above poem "I've learned." She believes words give life,and poetry
is the heart of words which she enjoys investigating.
She
begins by telling the readers the above poem has been attributed to others
and she mentions Charles de Foucauld (1858-1916) a Frenchman who began
his career in the military, and feeling great skepticism changed his
life around, and at the age of 43 became a priest and went back to
Africa. Because of the drama of his life, she mentions, it helped to
make the poem popular but it was written by an Arabian poet Omer
Washington.
Love
she concludes is the beginning and end of the poem. Love is the only
thing that will overcome chaos and disagreement, sadness and despair,
wounds and betrayal. Love is something we have to learn over and over
again, and she hopes it will be the road that her readers will be
walking in the new year.
In Window from the Ark column, a priest who worked for a
missionary organization of the Vatican while visiting an area of South East
Asia, saw for the first time the tapioca plant. Tapioca is extracted from the cassava root that is native to
South America and is now grown in many parts of the world. The starch
is used in many different ways, food, fuel and even in the making of
alcohol.
Africa is a supplier. East Asia supplies 30 %
of the world's production, which has changed the way we are world.
And we find ourselves continually adapting to changes in our environment, not always
correctly.
With genetic changes in the make up of life we
have adaptation to our environment and evolution. This adaptation
allows the individual and species to evolve but also become a monster. Cancer
is an example of an outside influence on the cell that turns it into a
monster. The columnist mentions a movie in which the earth seen from its perspective: humans have become a virus to the earth. If we don't
stop the damage we are doing to the earth it will be the death of one or
the other.
He meditates on this scenario for this time
of the year. What is the kind of world we Christians envisage God wants, and how do we prepare for it? Like a life organism it would
be a healthy and harmonious earth if nutrients were sent to all
corners of the earth and especially those in most need. It would include respect
and love for all and avoidance of pride and egoism in the care of all,
the way Jesus showed us.
The
world is losing the fire for this love. Instead we
have extreme greed, and fear as reasons for our lack of cooperation. Failure to solve the problems we face, increase the suffering
of the weak, and inflict pain on ourselves and society.
Law which is to
protect the weak is on the side of the strong and the gap between them,
continues to increase. Instead of ridding ourselves of the injustices in society we make it worse. Harmony and a win-win approach is not
part of our thinking: appropriate at this time of year.
Church as mission, and disciples of Jesus are to be
with those hurting, the poor, to share with them, and to live the
good news. This is not a question of morality but of life. Cooperation
and harmony breaking down in society is a serious malady that torments the earth. " Let the heavens and the earth listen, that they
may be witnesses against you. I have set before you life and death,
blessing and curse. Therefore, choose life that you and your descendants
may live" (Deut. 30: 19).
In the Peace Weekly, Question and Answer column, a reader asks: does religion require unconditional belief? A young person who had been looking around for a religion found Catholicism to his liking, but those that introduced him to religion, when he had questions, repeated what the apostle Thomas was told by Jesus: blessed who believe without seeing. Since he has a desire to understand and study, and go deep into what he believes, he wants to know if this is wrong for a Catholic?
Priest columnist answers that the young person has the correct attitude and on the right path. St Thomas, the apostle, despite all that he saw and heard still doubted, and it was this that Jesus was addressing.
Religious people are searching and will do so until death. Spiritual mentors often say: faith is receiving answers but at the same time asking questions. We continue to ask questions and look for answers.
Life is a school always open 24 hours a day, where we learn about love, forgiveness,honesty, fear, patience, adaptation and the like: we are learning to become human. Like the butterfly that sheds its cocoon we leave infancy to become a mature adult.
A person who studies is like a mental wanderer, a person on a voyage of discovery. We see this often in the Scriptures. Abraham in his old age became a wanderer, and we have Jesus sending his disciples on a journey. When we are closed to new ideas and a deeper understanding of our Lord's teachings, we put obstacles in the way to spiritual growth and the movements of the Spirit.
When we close ourselves off from new thoughts and ideas we punish ourselves and even when prayer is devotedly attended, a person loses the joy of life. Many who are sick and near death have written great pieces of literature because they were mentally alert and their hearts still searching, and on fire.
He concludes with the words from Sirach."Wisdom instructs her children and admonishes those who seek her. He who loves her loves life; those who seek her out win her favor. He who holds her fast inherits glory; wherever he dwells, the Lord bestows blessings" Sirach (4:11- 13 ).
We have moved into a New Year, and according to the wisdom from ancient Korea each person becomes one year older but with a twist, young people add a year but the old, subtract: one year from life. As a society, we are getting older writes a history professor in the Peace Weekly, and many meet the new year with sadness.
Life begins slowly, with age it gets faster: true, also of countries, beginning with development, but followed by infirmity and collapse. Speed in our lives doesn't allow us to reflect, and we became careless. We look forward to a new year and hope for change.With the start of the new millennium, we experienced great euphoria, and we had a baby boom but shortly after a financial slump, and unemployment caused suffering. This was true of other countries where we had Lone Wolf millennium terrorism.
The lunar calendar tells us many things and in 2006, we had the year of the two springs, a very rare occurrence. In that year, we had a leap month in July, which made for a long year. The number of marriages increased over the previous year by 16,630, and the year of the pig 2007, a favorable year for births; we had 45,000 more births than the previous year. This year is the election year, and we will have many messiahs appearing.
Steve Jobs in his commencement talk to the students of Stanford University in 2005 quoted from something he had read: "If you live each day as if it was your last you'll be right. I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." The professor recommends to his readers this as a healthy approach to a way of living each day fully.
Yi Sun-sin the Korean Admiral is the professor's example of a person who overcomes his own desire to do what was necessary in his situation. It was at the battle of Myeongnyang Strait where he called all his staff officers and ship captains: " He who seeks his death will live and he who seeks his life shall die." Under impossible odds, he was victorious.
He concludes his column with a desire for himself and readers to begin the new year in the way Steve Jobs and Admiral Yi looked upon the work they were to face. We should see this year as the last one and make sure that we live to do all the things that we want and need to do before the New Year of 2017, and not lose time with trivialities.
Both Catholic papers wish the readers a happy and mercy filled New
Year, and a reminder the sun will rise again tomorrow. 'View from the
Ark columnist,' a college journalism professor, begins his column with
the words of Ephesians 5:16: "Make good use of every opportunity you
have, because these are evil days."
He mentions a number of young people who face an unknown future. One graduate student in his journalism class, started to cry, talking about the future and lack of job opportunities. Many students have finished their college and dreaming of a place in journalism. Now in their late twenties and early thirties, in graduate school, and having difficulties finding a place in society. He mentions many students are struggling and expressing this frustration to teachers; not easy to do. He feels the pain, hearing their plight.
Many are the students working part-time to earn their tuition at low-paying jobs. Mass media uses the word 'Sampo' generation: compelled to give up romance, marriage and children. 'Sam' is the word for three and 'Po' give up. This give-up-generation now adds four more things they have to give up: home owning, social life, and recently added was dreams and hopes.
He wants students who come for counseling to hold their head up high, look up at the sky, know what they want in life, and go for it. When he tells the students to look up at the sky, what he is saying is keep their ideals, become the journalist they desire to be, and work to make persons the center of their mission. He recommends they take a trip, look over their lives, confirm their mission and when they return view the full marathon course, and be determined to begin.
Each New Year symbolizes a new beginning with resolves and dreams. Young people are the future. They need to dream, when they fail they need another opportunity. He mentions the movie 'Gone With the Wind,' at the last scene of the movie the heroine Scarlett tired, broken and depressed returns home and says: "Tomorrow the sun will shine again."
Even when all looks black, we still have to go on living. We have to fight against anger and hate and begin the new year with hope, and use the time given us well. We live in our place in history. Young people should look beyond the present reality to a new horizon with renewed strength. He finishes the column with a cry of encouragement: Keep on dreaming, stand up and change the world. Happy New Year!
In English, we often use the phrase: born with a silver spoon in the mouth; meaning, the person was from birth born into wealth and high society. The Peace Weekly brings to the attention of the readers a topic of discussion among the young.
Young people have made their own spoon hierarchy: gold spoon, silver, bronze, and clay. Gold would be wealth from birth and social standing. Each spoon decreases the inheritance and lifestyle until you have the clay spoon: no inheritance and simple living.
Some of the young people do not care for this division. Rafaela was brought up in wealth and went to the best schools but when told she was born with a gold spoon, denies this vigorously, and if you want to use these words, she says, laughing: " I am a stainless spoon." She will be married next year and will spend only about 1,250 dollars for the wedding not including the meal. "If I were a gold spoon person wouldn't I have the reception in some prestigious hotel?"
Kim Matthew, whose family upbringing would be closer to the clay spoon group maintains that he is a gold spoon person. His parents taught him the way to live and how to be happy. His mother lived by her convictions, his father quietly worked doing his best in everything, and both taught him what was necessary for a happy life. "Since that is the life I am living is that not a gold spoon existence?" If we used other values besides financial capability: self-respect, no complaining about one's condition in life, no feeling of inferiority, and each one pursued happiness, this spoon hierarchical thinking will disappear.
Park John
feels that using the word 'clay spoon' is disrespectful of one's
parents. The very fact that we are using the analogy of spoons shows we are
not living in a healthy society.
Justice and Peace Committee of Seoul mentions that the young people's bantering about spoons is a sign of their frustration with salaries, education and inheritance of wealth and their influence in society.
Many irregular workers have a hard time meeting expenses. Parents pass on opportunities for education, status and employment to their children. This passing between generations through inheritance is seen as one of the reasons for inequality in South Korea.
In a recent survey, the percentage of those who think they can raise their status in society by hard work continues to decrease. Peace and Justice community of Seoul, proposes that the policy of money and finances take second place, and persons and the environment take first place. Making these our values would be a good way to begin the New Year.
An article in a pastoral review for priests, starts with a report of a labor and management dispute that happened over 20 years ago in a church establishment. Police were called to break up a demonstration of the employees and some of them were detained. It became a legal problem; priest representative was called before the court of law.
"Did you call the police to break up the demonstration?" asked the lawyer. "No" answered the priest. The lawyer showed the signed statement by the priest that was in the possession of the police asking them to break up the demonstration, and called the priest a liar. This incident was written up in the press and caused surprise in the eyes of many. The priest continued in his position for a few years but the writer mentions that he left the priesthood.
Recently a parish council and pastor were in conflict. Trust had been lost and the priest tried to squirm out of the mess with excuses and evasion, which made the matters worse.
Lies are endemic in society, politics, finance, and in religious society. We look at our own actions and we are no different from others. This makes for a lack of trust, difficulty in dealing honestly with others, finding love in society, and a reason relationships fall apart.
He gives us an example of a priest who did not manage his work correctly and heard many complaints. Parishioners were downhearted and began finding fault. A few days later after Mass he apologized for his blunder sincerely, and said he would work to put things in order. Complaints disappeared and many were moved by the apology. People are moved by honest and frankness. Just one lie is enough to merit disdain.
In a1980 survey by a public opinion organization stated that Catholic priests were the most trusted in society.
Often people feel honesty makes life difficult, and almost unconsciously resort to lies. Consequently one has to make an effort to speak the truth on all occasions. It is not easy to be thoroughly honest. We see lying prohibited in the ten commandments, and find the admonition often in the New Testament. "A lie is a foul blot in a man, yet it is constantly on the lips of the unruly" (Sirach 20:23).
